Name Change

[sedstar]

I was friends with another drummer at university, his name was Jack...

I vaguely knew his name was "Jack Schmidt", but, he had a nickname like we all did in college, and really... it never dawned on me the hilarious implications of his name.

Years after graduating with my second degree? i chanced upon him at the big home improvement store. I ended up with his name and phone number on a piece of paper. I lost it, then found it again... and the paper sat on the coffee table for lord knows HOW many months.

Neighbors teenage kid used to hang around, and like any teen he was a nebsh!t... he suddenly jumps up one day "Oh my GOD... you actuuall DO KNOW jack sh!t !!!"

He showed me the kids name and phone number on the scrap of paper... iy never registered on me before, LMAO...

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my dads sister (my aunt?) her second husband was the vice president of a big home building company. His name was Richard, but, he asked everyone to just call him "Dick". Which was FUNNY ENOUGH to a litle kid you know... "hey DICK! you want some soda pop? DICKKKKK!"

years go by. I'm a TEEN, and we are over at their new house for a holiday dinner. I vaguely knew Dicks last name was "Tracy", because that was my aunts new last name when she remarried the vice president to scvrew her way to the top (because shed have been pretty stupid to screw her way to the bottom, i suppose)... but, her oldest daughter, my cousin, her last name was "Burroughs".

so... all these years go by... i'm in my teens, and suddenly it HITS ME... this mans name... is... f@ck!ng DICK TRACY.... ha ha ah ahahah ahaaa

i about fell over, literally, and couldnt catch my breath. I had a good belly laugh, the kind you cant get up off the floor, and just slap the floor in mirth... alli could DO was laugh, and repeat the name "dick tracy! HAHAHAHAHAHAH".

me MUM and dad were terribly embarassed, but, he just smiled. he was used to this, he said... many people at work he said the same thing happens. Years can go by then when you NOTICE IT, you just crack up.

He told the story that the President of Ryan Homes, the BIG boss... (hes a vice president of something or other) was wanting SOMEone to figure SOMEthing out about finances... and he said "Yeah, put Dick on it! he's a real DETCTIV when it comes to finding missing finances! get Dick Tracy on the case! It'll be solved in NO time, flat!"

...and all of a sudden? The president of the corporation REALIZED the mans name, and how he had just called him a detective... and did pretty much what I did, which was lay on the board room floor and laugh uncontrollably for quite some time.

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Went to grade school with an honest to god "Ed Dick", and there were all manner of jokes what his parents and relatives names were, go figure.

There was a guy i worked with a while back, his last name was one of those funny spelling Polish of eastern block names? Something like "Balsyzac"...

he pronounced it "Ball-Zack", but... we kinda trimmed it up neatly to "ballsack".

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i myself, actually have 2 birth certificates. (nothing TOO hilarious abut my name(s), lol)

my birth parents are both dead, i was raised by my real dad's sister... and her husband. Back then, the usual M.O. was to give the wee kid adopted a new birth certificate with the new name, and put a local hospital on it and everything.

wen i was younger, before computers completely took over the world, i could have easily just started using the original birth certificate with the different last name, when young enough it would have been normal seeming. Hey, it had my little footy prints on it and everything.

had me parents had the good sens to stay ALIVE, me name WOULD have been...

Sean Eldon O'neil

...and yes, i'm a mick. With THAT name, you dont get much more irish than that, what with the Gaelic middle name and all that.


(please proceed with all the potato jokes, fire for effect, ha ha)

[PESCA]

You're not alone on here Sedders, being of Irish decent.

No 'potato' cracks from me. There's quite a few members on here who'd spit at the mention of Charles Trevelyn, and rightly so

George

[Gloop]

What the founder of the modern English civil service? NOOO, I can't believe it.