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Some times you just cant win! ..the following is a conversation from last night ...."hello love" , eff off, whats up?...whats up? every night you're either effing drunk out with that effing dog or that effing gun with an effing torch on top then come home and trample effing mud through the effing house, theres even effing mud in the effing bed!.....are you upset?....eff off .... tell you what, i'll take you out on Saturday.....hmmm ok . where we going ..... thought we might go to pete's farm theres loadsa rats there... eff off you fat old b!! .. Now as you can see I was trying to be fair, theres just no pleasing some women so iv'e decided not to take her till she calms down, that'll teach her.

atb .... john

Love it , When mine starts being all grumpy I do the same .
Never give in

You're too soft with her, Johnny

George

PESCA wrote:You're too soft with her, Johnny

George

She aint been the same since I lost the cattle prod George , I'm sure she hid it! She's a proper handful.

john..

got one just like that, my girl friend keeps telling me to get rid, but she still looks ok and has her health so she can stay a little longer, as long as she behaves .
she gets up in the morning, brings my coffee in bed drops the kids at school on the way to work
she gets in from work about 6.30 7, puts the dinner on, sorts the kids out, pops the shop for bread and milk gets the kids home work done, runs a bath for after she has feed us, askes me if I have had a good day then AND only then does she make me a coffee !!!!!
the other day !!!!!!!
all I said was "oy pop the kettle on " and the gobby mare ,gave me a dirty look and shouted at me to wait 5 mins please, I said "GOD you finished work 35 mins ago and im still waiting !!"
well fair play she did drop everything and do me a coffee, at last. but GEORGE is right you shouldn't be to soft with them,
I got my wife a new ,real leather cloth so she could dry the windows after she had cleaned them but sod it, I will un rap it myself and she can wait till her birthday before she gets it, just in case she's late from work or keep's me waiting again. before all you feminist types say that's not fair she should get more don't think she was only getting the cloth for Christmas !!!! no, not true, poundland had a two for one. I also got her a potato peeler because her other one broke before she got a chance to use it, so i said I would buy her a new one, last year,she had to peel spuds for 16 people with a blunt knife because it was raining and my sharpener was in the garage. this year I might let her open her present before we eat but its all down to her behaviour.

bottom line mate, your not the only one that has to put up with an unreasonable woman ! but I do feel for you at this time of year.


PS, WHERE DID YOU BUY THE CATTLE PROD !! been looking to get one.

bigste wrote:got one just like that, my girl friend keeps telling me to get rid, but she still looks ok and has her health so she can stay a little longer, as long as she behaves .
she gets up in the morning, brings my coffee in bed drops the kids at school on the way to work
she gets in from work about 6.30 7, puts the dinner on, sorts the kids out, pops the shop for bread and milk gets the kids home work done, runs a bath for after she has feed us, askes me if I have had a good day then AND only then does she make me a coffee !!!!!
the other day !!!!!!!
all I said was "oy pop the kettle on " and the gobby mare ,gave me a dirty look and shouted at me to wait 5 mins please, I said "GOD you finished work 35 mins ago and im still waiting !!"
well fair play she did drop everything and do me a coffee, at last. but GEORGE is right you shouldn't be to soft with them,
I got my wife a new ,real leather cloth so she could dry the windows after she had cleaned them but sod it, I will un rap it myself and she can wait till her birthday before she gets it, just in case she's late from work or keep's me waiting again. before all you feminist types say that's not fair she should get more don't think she was only getting the cloth for Christmas !!!! no, not true, poundland had a two for one. I also got her a potato peeler because her other one broke before she got a chance to use it, so i said I would buy her a new one, last year,she had to peel spuds for 16 people with a blunt knife because it was raining and my sharpener was in the garage. this year I might let her open her present before we eat but its all down to her behaviour.

bottom line mate, your not the only one that has to put up with an unreasonable woman ! but I do feel for you at this time of year.


PS, WHERE DID YOU BUY THE CATTLE PROD !! been looking to get one.

One of those electric fly swats (look like a tennis racket) is quite effective across a bare nipple or butt. You only have to use it once, puts the fear of God in them next time you reach for it

rodp wrote: One of those electric fly swats (look like a tennis racket) is quite effective across a bare nipple or butt. You only have to use it once, puts the fear of God in them next time you reach for it

Trouble is you'd have to lock it in the gunsafe to avoid her getting hold of it when you're in the shower......... with shampoo in your eyes!

Classic!



Fizz

rodp wrote:One of those electric fly swats (look like a tennis racket) is quite effective across a bare nipple or butt. You only have to use it once, puts the fear of God in them next time you reach for it

i have to pay good money for that kind of treatment on a saturday night!

sunndog wrote:

rodp wrote:One of those electric fly swats (look like a tennis racket) is quite effective across a bare nipple or butt. You only have to use it once, puts the fear of God in them next time you reach for it

i have to pay good money for that kind of treatment on a saturday night!

Hmmmm, ..............sooner you than me mate
.

being from the colonies you guys leave me behind. What does effing mean?