Though that this thread by h92064 on trapshooters.com was well worth copying just for the humour.How to Give a Cat a Pill
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if
holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of
cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in
right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close
mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in
left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of
mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse in from the garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and
rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head
firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill
down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep
shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing
later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just
visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force
mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one
beer to take taste away. Apply band aid to spouse's forearm and remove
blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another
beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head
showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat
with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold
compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.
Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot.
Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the
tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence
while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&#%^'S
front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of
dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet
steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of
water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the
emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm
and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way
home to order new table.
15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local
pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden
when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved
brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring". ~
Oscar Wilde ~
Well I thought that this is good original humour anyway
Thanks all Phil
