Just found this thread on http://www.trapshooters.com "Excellent humour", I like the no frills attitude and the effort that the seller has put into his advert (If I have posted in the wrong forum section please re-post where suitable etc.)
1973 Ford hiboy
390 engine 4 speed manual
4X4
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
Woo Hoo!
$2400 or possible trade for smaller truck/car
Here's the deal, kids:
This is a 42yr old Ford 3/4 ton 4X4. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Truck. It rides like a Truck. It drives like a Truck. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent when you see it
If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a B.S job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid stuff: THIS IS YOUR TRUCK.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage? -could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?
If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR TRUCK.
DETAILS:
-previous owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has tens of thousands of miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Tailgate has a crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Gas tank has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the tank or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new tank will run $145. If you don't want to replace it I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes tank, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain. Besides, it has a second tank that works fine and it sucks so much gas youd never notice anyways.
-The badass little 390 V8 starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate well
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My sons idea, take it up with him.
QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the truck for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.
-What's wrong with it?
Reserve fuel tank. Small oil leaks..
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.
-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.
-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the truck. Love the truck. Give the truck a home.
-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of crap honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.
-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.
( I sold this truck 1 day after posting add, but I'm enjoying the texts that you like my add! Thx guys)You can show your appreciation by liking my facebook page to, kimball creek transport if your interested. Oh, and I dont write wedding vows but thx for the text
This link will take you straight to it if you can't get on to trapshooters.com or copy and paste etc.
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad ... _cid=S0001
Thank you all Phil
