Mary had a little lamb
she also had a duck
she put them on the fireplace
to see if they would...match the wallpaper.
Jokes anyone ?
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22-250jock
- Posts: 2437
- Joined: 07 Dec 2012, 17:53
- Location: west sussex
Re: Jokes anyone ?
how to tell the time in Italy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvB3Uvdg ... detailpage
“When guns are outlawed, only the Government will have guns. The Government - and a few outlaws. If that happens, you can count me among the outlaws.”
― Edward Abbey,
― Edward Abbey,
Re: Jokes anyone ?
classic 
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fizzbangwhallop
- Posts: 2613
- Joined: 18 Oct 2011, 11:27
- Location: north herts
Re: Jokes anyone ?
Worth posting a link to again for all the newbies....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
And just a bit of nostalgia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 80uOImviFc
Made oi larf.
Fizz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
And just a bit of nostalgia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 80uOImviFc
Made oi larf.
Fizz
A correct grip on the butt & cheekweld is imperative for accurate shooting.
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22-250jock
- Posts: 2437
- Joined: 07 Dec 2012, 17:53
- Location: west sussex
Re: Jokes anyone ?
watch with the sound turned right up and on full screen 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhlCHMWXuis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhlCHMWXuis“When guns are outlawed, only the Government will have guns. The Government - and a few outlaws. If that happens, you can count me among the outlaws.”
― Edward Abbey,
― Edward Abbey,
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22-250jock
- Posts: 2437
- Joined: 07 Dec 2012, 17:53
- Location: west sussex
Re: Jokes anyone ?
fizzbangwhallop wrote:Worth posting a link to again for all the newbies....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
And just a bit of nostalgia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 80uOImviFc
Made oi larf.
Fizz
here Fizz,
do you remember Doc Cox?, he used to sing little ditties on 'That's Life' with Esther Rantzen'
found this one by him while trawling youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=RD22w ... STyROMoBD0
pmsl
cheers jock
“When guns are outlawed, only the Government will have guns. The Government - and a few outlaws. If that happens, you can count me among the outlaws.”
― Edward Abbey,
― Edward Abbey,
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22-250jock
- Posts: 2437
- Joined: 07 Dec 2012, 17:53
- Location: west sussex
Re: Jokes anyone ?
imagine meeting this cute little baby 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM1s4ia2p2A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM1s4ia2p2A“When guns are outlawed, only the Government will have guns. The Government - and a few outlaws. If that happens, you can count me among the outlaws.”
― Edward Abbey,
― Edward Abbey,
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johnnyrebel
- Posts: 229
- Joined: 11 Dec 2012, 21:47
- Location: sheffield
Re: Jokes anyone ?
Bloke finds an old lamp in his shed, gives it a little rub and a genie jumps out.
Bloke says wow who are you ?
I am the genie of the lamp , and I will grant you three wishes but I must warn you that whatever you wish for , your wife will get double. I will give you a little time to think about your wishes.
After 10 minutes the genie is back and asks him his first wish, he says £1 million please. WOOF. A cloud of smoke and sure enough ,£1m on the potting table, his wife gets £2m.
wish 2, genie says this time your wife gets triple what you get, whats your second wish , he says £5million , WOOSH, £5m on the potting table, his wife gets £15m and it's pissing him off.
wish 3, genie says this time your wife gets 10 times what you get, bloke sits there and studies for a while then says , can I have a mild heart attack please?.!!
atb ...john
Bloke says wow who are you ?
I am the genie of the lamp , and I will grant you three wishes but I must warn you that whatever you wish for , your wife will get double. I will give you a little time to think about your wishes.
After 10 minutes the genie is back and asks him his first wish, he says £1 million please. WOOF. A cloud of smoke and sure enough ,£1m on the potting table, his wife gets £2m.
wish 2, genie says this time your wife gets triple what you get, whats your second wish , he says £5million , WOOSH, £5m on the potting table, his wife gets £15m and it's pissing him off.
wish 3, genie says this time your wife gets 10 times what you get, bloke sits there and studies for a while then says , can I have a mild heart attack please?.!!
atb ...john
i'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous
Re: Jokes anyone ?
Little Johnny goes to the zoo with his dad and as they are walking around the aviary they come across a bird dead in its cage.
"Dad..... What's wrong with that bird"
Dad ponders what to say to his young son......" Son that bird has died"
" died..... But why is it lying on it's back with its legs spread ? "
Dad is now struggling to think of how to explain death to his son....... "Son it is lying on it's back with its leg spread so that god can reach down , pick it up and take it up to heaven. "
" ok .... That's cool dad"
About a week later Johnny comes running down the garden path to meet his dad at the gate.
"Dad dad we have had a hell of a commotion here today"
" calm down Johnny and tell me what happened"
"We'll mum was lying on the bed going god I'm coming....god I'm coming...............
And if it wasn't for the postman jumping up and down on her .....she would of been a goner".
"Dad..... What's wrong with that bird"
Dad ponders what to say to his young son......" Son that bird has died"
" died..... But why is it lying on it's back with its legs spread ? "
Dad is now struggling to think of how to explain death to his son....... "Son it is lying on it's back with its leg spread so that god can reach down , pick it up and take it up to heaven. "
" ok .... That's cool dad"
About a week later Johnny comes running down the garden path to meet his dad at the gate.
"Dad dad we have had a hell of a commotion here today"
" calm down Johnny and tell me what happened"
"We'll mum was lying on the bed going god I'm coming....god I'm coming...............
And if it wasn't for the postman jumping up and down on her .....she would of been a goner".
wow ...that's exactly how I like my coffee...........Made by someone else.