OK. An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Aussie are talking about their love life and how vocal their wives are.
Englishman: I make love to my wife, lots of gentle sighs until she cries out. Then she is completely relaxed, lies as if floating on a cloud until I bring her a cup of tea.
Frenchman: That's nothing. We drink a bottle of wine, make love, she calls my name again and again then she is literally floating, light as a feather until I bring a cheese platter and slowly bring her back to the world.
Aussie: Lightweights. I know how to get my woman going. We have a shag. She says Hurry Up! over and over again. When I'm finished I wipe myself clean on the curtains and she levitates to the ceiling screaming incoherently. You guys need to learn how to make your wife scream.
English Humor
Re: English Humor
Aussie foreplay, ..................... "Brace yourself Sheila"
Always tickled me that one for some reason
Always tickled me that one for some reason
"Land Rover, the worlds best 4x4 by far"
"Argo, a great 8x8"
"Argo, a great 8x8"
Re: English Humor
"COPIED FROM A AMERICAN SHOOTING FORUM and PROBABLY NEEDS TO BE EDITED/SANCTIONED BY A MODERATOR/BIG KAHUNA"
"Sorry if anyone is offended"
British humour as it used to be: Absolutely politically incorrect.
It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use
water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in
to stop the coloureds from running.
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London
Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor
away." But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a
bacon sandwich works great!
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
During last night's high winds an African family was killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know
they were living up there".
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not
enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is
being shown 5 times a week now.
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a
fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up
Abdul, won't it start?"
An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the
dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It
seems that a caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am
depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I
can finally meet Allah."
To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
Thanks Phil.
"Sorry if anyone is offended"
British humour as it used to be: Absolutely politically incorrect.
It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use
water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in
to stop the coloureds from running.
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London
Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor
away." But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a
bacon sandwich works great!
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
During last night's high winds an African family was killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know
they were living up there".
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not
enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is
being shown 5 times a week now.
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a
fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up
Abdul, won't it start?"
An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the
dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It
seems that a caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am
depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I
can finally meet Allah."
To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
Thanks Phil.
